“No, I haven’t done anything!”
—Random user who couldn’t use tethering anymore had just upgraded his iPhone’s firmware, swapped the SIM card to a new one and tuned off the Personal Hotspot feature.
May 2011
9 posts
“I’m sorry but no. We cannot increase the email attachment size limit so you can send a whole DVD to someone else.”
—Random Sysadmin
“Well, try to see the power outage in a positive manner. Now you can actually check off the UPS-live-test you always refused to do.”
—Random sysadmin to random CEO.
Printing is a highly complex task. (Again!)
- Random user calling random sysadmin: My printer isn't working, please fix it.
- Random sysadmin: Do you get any error messages when you try to print?
- Random user: Yes, it says "Out of paper".
- Random sysadmin: Oh, that should be fixed easily, just put paper in the tray and it should just work again.
- Random user: Do I really have to walk to the printer now? Can't you just upload some?
Someone is getting error messages
- Random user: One of our customers sent us an email and received an error message. Can you please fix that?
- Random sysadmin: Do you know what the error message says?
- Random user: No, that was sent to our customer.
- Random sysadmin: Then the customer has to look into that. If they can't work it out themselves, have them forward the error message to me and I'll look into it.
- Random user: Ok, thanks. I 'll do that.
- Random sysadmin receives an email with the error message a few minutes later and starts typing a response to explain the sender what "recipient unknown" could possibly mean.
Clients From Hell: Me: “How can I help you today, ma’am?”Client: “Is e-mail internet”?Me:... →
clientsfromhell.net
Me: “How can I help you today, ma’am?”
Client: “Is e-mail internet”?
Me: “I beg your pardon?”
Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”
Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.”
Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my…
“Could you please reinstall the Application we told you to delete recently.”
—Random user making up her mind.
Client: “My laptop won’t turn on.”
Me: “It isn’t charged. You have to charge it.”
Client: “I’ve been charging it for 3 hours.”
Me: “With what? Your charger isn’t plugged into the laptop.”
Client: “I’ve been charging it with my iPhone.”
There’s an app for that.
