Users from hell

Bubble bath?

U: “hello, my notebook does not work anymore”

A: “Well, bring it to me, we will have a look”

U: “Here we are. I’ve done nothing” (Why do we not wonder about this phrase…?)

A. “I see. Let’s check power etc.” After plugging in, a fine smell fills the room…

A: “What the hell - BUBBLE BATH????”

What does that mean…?

U: When can I have my computer back?

SA: The machine is at service and will be returned within 2 days.

U: What does that mean?

SA: So. What do you want to hear now…?

Webmaster from Hell

I don’t code— I’m the Webmaster! I have students for that!

-an ex-“Webmaster”

Keyboard from Hell

I once worked with a user whose lunch habits consisted of buying a to-go meal from the nearby cafeteria each day, eating her lunch at her desk, and letting the food crumbs and waste fall onto the keyboard. We’re talking, mac-n-cheese that would fall, hit the keyboard, and not be cleaned up- leaving dried-up cheese sauce all over the keys. Touching her keyboard was not an option.

The solution? When I had to work on her computer, I brought an extra USB keyboard. Sadly, I was instructed to do this only when she wasn’t around, so, for all I know, she never got the hint, and is probably still doing it today.

I wonder what that “Cancel” button does

If you want to do something and you get a dialog that offers you two buttons with “do it” and ”cancel” then pressing cancel will very likely not do what you want to do.

Just a Fad

Back in 1991 I bought a PC from a guy who did custom builds in his basement. As a freshman in college, I became exposed to the internet and realized that it would be “the future”. When I suggested that my PC builder guy expand his business by becoming an ISP (There were no ISP’s in the region at that time), his response was,

The internet is just a fad! It’s just like CB radios in the 70’s… everybody thought they were great, but now they’re just gathering dust in their basement!

I assume he’s now gathering dust in his basement. 

What’s in a name?

clientsfromhell:

Client: Can you update my Adobe?

Me:Sure. Which program are you using?

Client: You need to listen to me when I speak! ADOBE

Me:Yes, I got that part. Adobe is the publisher, they make quite a-

Client: Adobe! I want my Adobe updated. I have no idea what you’re talk about…

Me: Adobe makes lots of programs. Like, you wouldn’t say, “I just updated my Microsoft - “

Client:Microsoft isn’t working either. Find a solution for that while you’re at it.